“You are not broken—you are patterned. And the pattern can heal.”
For many of us, love has felt like a puzzle we can’t quite solve. We try to give it, to receive it, to stay soft in it. But somewhere along the way, fear takes over. Patterns we didn’t choose start to repeat. And we wonder if maybe something is wrong with us.
How You Love was written for that moment.
The moment where faith meets relationship pain, where spiritual longing meets emotional exhaustion. It is a guide for healing how you give and receive love—especially if you’ve never felt quite safe in it.
What Is How You Love?
How You Love: Healing the Patterns That Hold You Back is a faith-based, gentle deep-dive into how our earliest emotional experiences—often rooted in childhood attachment—shape the way we connect to others, to ourselves, and to God.
It’s not just a book about psychology. And it’s not just a devotional.
It’s a spiritually rooted healing guide, written for women of faith who want to understand:
- Why they love the way they do
- Why they feel anxious, avoidant, or shut down in relationships
- Why some relationships feel nourishing… and others feel draining
- And most of all: how to transform these patterns with truth and grace
Whether you’re single, dating, married, or healing from past trauma—How You Love offers a path forward.
What You’ll Learn Inside
This 12-chapter guide blends attachment theory with spiritual formation and Christian compassion. Each chapter is filled with:
- 💛 Clear teaching on emotional and relational patterns
- 🙏 Faith reflections grounded in Scripture and spiritual wisdom
- ✍️ Healing prompts and journaling exercises
- 🎨 Creative practices to access healing through imagery, prayer, and gentle self-expression
You’ll explore the four primary love styles rooted in attachment patterns:
- The Securely Connected
- The Anxiously Attached
- The Avoidantly Attached
- The Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized)
But you’ll do so through the lens of grace—not diagnosis.
This is not about labeling yourself. It’s about understanding the pathways your heart takes to feel safe and known. And it’s about remembering that healing is possible through divine love.
Who Is This Book For?
This book is for women who:
- Struggle to trust others or feel worthy of love
- Constantly overgive, people please, or fear abandonment
- Shut down or withdraw when they feel vulnerable
- Feel distant from God when relationships are painful
- Want a faith-centered path to emotional and relational healing
You don’t need to be a therapist or a theologian.
You just need a soft place to begin again.
Healing Love, One Chapter at a Time
Each chapter includes:
- A spiritual teaching or reflection
- A personal story or insight
- Journal and prayer prompts
- A Scripture verse for meditation
- Optional creative/art prompt for healing integration
Topics include:
- “Why We Attach the Way We Do”
- “When Love Feels Unsafe”
- “God and the Inner Child”
- “Reparenting with Grace”
- “Boundaries, Worthiness, and the Truth About Receiving”
- “Secure Love as a Spiritual Practice”
A Book That Speaks to Your Spirit
What makes How You Love different from typical self-help books?
- It’s grounded in Catholic and Christian spiritual wisdom
- It treats emotional healing as a sacred process
- It incorporates both gentle psychology and contemplative prayer
- It recognizes your prophetic sensitivity, intuitive knowing, and spiritual calling as real and valid
- It doesn’t shame you for how you’ve coped. It holds space for how you’ve survived.
Why It Matters Now
Post-pandemic, many women of faith have begun waking up to deep emotional fatigue. Our families, relationships, and spiritual lives are shifting. We need space for honesty—and for healing.
This book was written in that space.
A place where your heart, your faith, and your healing are welcome.
It’s time to stop blaming yourself for your patterns.
And it’s time to let love in—starting with how you love yourself.
What Readers Are Saying
“It felt like someone finally explained why I shut down emotionally. I cried reading Chapter 2—and then I felt peace for the first time in weeks.”
— M.L., early reader
You were made to love.
Not just give it. Not just survive it.
But receive it—freely, fully, and without fear.
If you’re ready to begin that journey, How You Love is here to walk with you.
© 2025 Spirit Love Song™
All rights reserved.